Deep breath in. The Friday before last I got laid off from my job in Marketing. Deep breath out. After the initial sting of letting those words roll off my tongue dissipates, I feel the need to tell you that I’m okay and that I actually feel an overwhelming sense of relief. No pity parties here. It wouldn’t have taken a rocket scientist to figure out that I wasn’t happy where I was at, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t take a huge blow to my ego or that I didn’t allow myself a nice long cry while I wrote this post (and several other times over the past week and a half, if I’m being honest). I wanted to go out on my own terms, dignity intact. However, those weren’t the cards I was dealt. That’s life.
The recent stress of being so utterly discouraged by the situation I was in had manifested itself across my face in the form of acne that rivaled that of my teenage years. Trust me when I say, it wasn’t pretty. I’m keeping Jess’ tips on hand in case the stress of not knowing what’s next offers up similar results. #eek
Elizabeth shared this piece from the Cancer horoscope (I’m a Cancer, of course) last week and I was shocked at how deeply it resonates with where I’m at right now. “Happy New Year, Moonchild! No, this is not a belated greeting for the Western New Year or the Chinese New Year. This really is an opportunity for you to start fresh in some part of your life – perhaps even to transform your entire life in some wonderful way. That means you can’t let this day go by without celebrating in some way, and without making a resolution to do those things you regret you hadn’t done in the past. This really is a brand new beginning, and it opens an auspicious path to your future. Make the most of it.” I’ve probably read that excerpt at least a hundred times and each time I feel an overwhelming sense of hope that this is my chance. My chance to test the waters, to find a way to make a living doing something that I love and to feel passionate about the work I’m putting out into the world.
I’ve been meaning to share this story with you and I’m honestly glad that I waited, because it fits perfectly with today’s confession. Back at the end of January we went to dinner to celebrate my younger brother turning 16. When you think of having a deep, thought-provoking conversation, you probably don’t think dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings, but it’s all about who you’re conversing with. I had the most invigorating talk with my little sister. She runs a little side hustle where she take orders and bakes sweets for friends and family (cupcakes, cake pops, cookies, you name it – aka all the things I can’t get enough of) and earns some spending money – not a bad gig for a 14-year-old. I not-so-jokingly said that she should ask Grandpa if he could buy her a food truck and we could set it up at First Fridays here in Kansas City and sell her goods to the masses. I’ll have to let you know how that proposal goes. We got to talking about what classes she wants to take when she starts high school in the fall and how those will ultimately help her get to where she wants to be in life. Harper is definitely a big-picture thinker. I told her no matter what, not to stop doing the things that make her happy. Her response was simple, but it rocked me to my core, “I don’t really care how much money I make when I grow up, as long as I love what I’m doing.” She gets it, plain and simple. I’m floored by how wise she is and it was a reminder for me that everyone can teach us something.
I can’t express how lucky I am to have the support of Pete, my family and friends. Each and every one of them has been nothing short of encouraging. I’m thankful that the hard work we have been putting in has set me up to be able to take things slow, if I need. I didn’t make a big leap to something I love and I’m not 100% sure what’s next for me. All I know is that I’m being pushed in the direction of my next big adventure, ready or not.
Before you go, Grace and Hallie are two people that I genuinely look up to. They’re as real as they get when it comes to blogging and I appreciate their open dialogue regarding their careers. Even though we’re all at varying places in our lives, I found their most recent posts (here and here) extremely encouraging. If you haven’t read them already, I highly suggest you do.
Thank you so much for sticking with me through this post. What would I do without you? It felt good to write it out and clear the air so that I can start conjuring up what my next move might look like. I’ll be sure to keep you in the loop, promise.
Image via Glitter Guide