I’ve swallowed a few tough pills this week. The kind that get lodged in your throat and seem to linger for days. Even though you know it’s no longer physically there, the feeling of discomfort doesn’t seem to go away. Perhaps you have, too?
I’ve been writing a lot (albeit, it’s mostly jumbled thoughts and feelings etched out in chicken scratch) most of which I can assure you has no business being presented in this space I’ve not-so-perfectly curated.
I’ve also been ruminating – about my upbringing, about the future, about how I came to be the person that I am today, about my sweet niece who can turn even the worst of days around with her brilliant smile.
I’d be remiss not to say that I recognize my privilege as a straight, white, able-bodied woman from a partly upper middle class family (I say partly because I come from divorced parents, but it shouldn’t go unmentioned that I’ve never wanted for anything and for that I am so incredibly grateful). The inner turmoil I’ve felt this week has been unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. If it’s been hard for me, I can’t imagine how it’s been for so many others.
I guess I just want to clear the air so that when things go back to normal around here on Monday you know that I didn’t brush the events of this past week under the rug. That I’ve had tough conversations with people on both sides. That I’m working to be a better person and that I’m looking to lend my time and resources where they’re so desperately needed. That I vow to love harder, to show empathy, and to continue to educate myself on the world around me.
I love you guys, I really do. I hope that this space will always be a bright spot in your day or a sounding board when you need it the most.
Smile at passing strangers, express your gratitude for the Veterans of the United States of America, take a break from social media, give in to your desire to put self-care first this weekend, and please, please don’t let anyone tell you that the tears you’ve shed this past week are “trendy.”
Photo via Gal Meets Glam
I’ve (obviously) been feeling the same way and it’s tough because although I currently don’t blog as much I’d like, I’m still trying to figure out how to use the small platform I’ve built to share my experiences as a woman, as a woman of color and as a veteran. But, I’m allowing myself this week to grieve, calm down, and to just figure out how and what exactly I want to say… you know? Thank you for this post, and for your open mind <3
I think your story is such an important and unique one to share (whenever you’re ready, of course). I hope you were able to step away from the madness and get some “me” time in this weekend. Sending you a hug from Chicago 🙂
Jess,
As your mom I could not be prouder of you, my grown children, all of you! You’ve grown up to be people of substance and understanding, you’re intelligent, with strong minds, warm hearts and empathy for mankind. As a parent I couldn’t ask for more, I’m incredibly fortunate to have you all in my life. I learn from you all, daily. Love, Mom
Thank you, Mom 🙂 Love you too!
I agree with Cassandra in that I just don’t know what to say. I’m still speechless but all of this has made me want to be more involved and just be kinder to everyone even though they are being mean. This week I was told by someone in my family that my religious views are irrelevant to the election as if there is no way to use one to do the other. It is amazing at how heartless some people are. But we need to calm down, pull ourselves together (literally and figuratively) and just work together. Thank you Jess for being courageous in posting this. 😘 Jessika / beautybyjessika.com
Couldn’t agree more. I hope this week is a better one for you! Sending you love.
You’re a wonderful being and I’m so happy to know you and your family.
I hope to see you soon!
Thank you 🙂 I hope to see you soon too!
Hi Jess! This past week was a tough one. Just continue to be you and keep shining! We love you 😊❤️
Same to you girlfriend!