I’ve swallowed a few tough pills this week. The kind that get lodged in your throat and seem to linger for days. Even though you know it’s no longer physically there, the feeling of discomfort doesn’t seem to go away. Perhaps you have, too?
I’ve been writing a lot (albeit, it’s mostly jumbled thoughts and feelings etched out in chicken scratch) most of which I can assure you has no business being presented in this space I’ve not-so-perfectly curated.
I’ve also been ruminating – about my upbringing, about the future, about how I came to be the person that I am today, about my sweet niece who can turn even the worst of days around with her brilliant smile.
I’d be remiss not to say that I recognize my privilege as a straight, white, able-bodied woman from a partly upper middle class family (I say partly because I come from divorced parents, but it shouldn’t go unmentioned that I’ve never wanted for anything and for that I am so incredibly grateful). The inner turmoil I’ve felt this week has been unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. If it’s been hard for me, I can’t imagine how it’s been for so many others.
I guess I just want to clear the air so that when things go back to normal around here on Monday you know that I didn’t brush the events of this past week under the rug. That I’ve had tough conversations with people on both sides. That I’m working to be a better person and that I’m looking to lend my time and resources where they’re so desperately needed. That I vow to love harder, to show empathy, and to continue to educate myself on the world around me.
I love you guys, I really do. I hope that this space will always be a bright spot in your day or a sounding board when you need it the most.
Smile at passing strangers, express your gratitude for the Veterans of the United States of America, take a break from social media, give in to your desire to put self-care first this weekend, and please, please don’t let anyone tell you that the tears you’ve shed this past week are “trendy.”
Photo via Gal Meets Glam