You Can’t Have It All

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the notion of “having it all.”channel your inner parisian

And I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a dangerously unattainable situation – a fine line teetering between a fulfilling, well-rounded life and not truly living at all (the latter of which scares me to my core).

oversized pom pom hat and stripesnavy pea coat and glitter flatsBetween my day job, this blog (which operates as a part-time job), staying active (for both my physical and mental health), maintaining a healthy relationship with Pete, catching up with friends and family (both near and far) getting enough sleep to be a functioning member of society, keeping some sort of order at home and taking time to just be…it’s hard. Throw a newborn baby into the mix and I’ve been told all bets are off.

I imagine you feel the same, no?j. crew striped shirt

No matter how hard I try, something always has to give in order to make the majority of those things happen for myself. Although it’s been a rather hard concept for this Type A to grasp, that’s okay.

Some days, it’s sacrificing a post-work happy hour in order to get in a sweat session because I skipped out on the night before’s class on account of the fact that I hadn’t seen my best friend in what felt like six months and I needed that three-hour conversation over a bottomless bread basket. Ring a bell?

gap skinny jeans and bows on toesnavy and stripes

Easy outfits are the antidote for the perpetual state of busy we’re all wrapped up in, along with the ever-present need to be and do everything (not to mention those no-fuss spring days on the horizon).

Generally speaking, keeping things simple where you can is key. Versatile stripes, skinny jeans, a perfect pair of flats and a beanie to cover up the inevitable bed head you have from another late night – presumably pouring your heart into your passion project or nurturing a new life.

french chicCut yourself some slack and focus on all the things you are doing, opposed to the things left undone when bed time rolls around. At the end of the day, we’re all just doing the best we can and that is good enough – promise.

floppy pom hat, striped shirt and navy pea coat


Pom Pom Hat // J. Crew Striped Shirt // Pea Coat (similar) I love this one, too! // Ray-Ban Sunglasses // J. Crew Flats // Skinny Jeans 

Photos by Sarah Sweeney Co.


Join The Discussion

  1. Kelly

    Agree. I’ve been trying REALLY hard to let things go this year and not get super discouraged when I don’t get ALL THE THINGS done by the end of the day. I don’t want my life to be a giant to-do list, after all. But it’s challenging! Keep that chin up and opt for the things that make you happiest. If a few things fall by the wayside for a period of time, it’s fine. 🙂 Real life comes first!!

    Kelly | Kelly in the City

    1. Jess Post author

      It’s amazing what we set ourselves up for, isn’t it? It’s hard to accept that you have to let some things go in order to see other areas grow. Glad we’re on the same page about not wanting to live and die by our to-do lists 😉 Thanks for the encouraging words, Kelly!

    1. Jess Post author

      It’s a frustrating concept, that’s for sure, but I love what you said about seeing other areas flourish when you finally let go of the reigns in some areas!

  2. Rachel

    I used to struggle with this SO much. I have finally realized what works best for me. If I have a crazy busy day at work, then I have to choose one thing that night – cooking a large meal, working out, taking the dog for a long walk – maybe two! On normal nights, I try to do three things – cook, work out and blog are my normal ones! But yes, we cannot do everything and we have to give ourselves breaks. P.S. you look super cute!

    1. Jess Post author

      It sounds like you have a pretty good setup going on! Simply acknowledging that everything isn’t going to get done does wonders for your sanity. And thank you 🙂

  3. Belen

    yeap. I feel you, minus the baby. We can’t do it all but the good thing about that is schedule apps! I love scheduling my social media (minus instagram) so we have more time during the weeks to do OUR things :).
    Visit my lifestyle blog that targets professional women to help achieve work-life balance !
    – Belen
    Visit my work-life balance blog, A Hint of Life

    1. Jess Post author

      I couldn’t imagine adding a baby to the mix! There are times when I’m really good about scheduling social media posts and other times I’m not (and also the fact that I like to be “social” with others, as that is the point…it’s definitely hard!). I appreciate your comment, Belen!

  4. Martina

    I came to the conclusion that I don´t want to do it all actually. I think there is so much pressure from society and certain rules on what a young woman has to do and has to want that it was kind of an epiphany to me to realize that most of those things are actually not those I want to accomplish and just simply don´t want. Period.

    And I believe if you really focus on the things that are important to you than this is “your ALL” and then you can “have it all” 😉

    1. Jess Post author

      That’s a great mindset to have! We’re similar in a lot of ways when it comes to what we’re “expected” to do and what I actually see myself doing in the coming years 🙂

  5. Maya

    PREACH! I feel this post so hard. I often think about how crazy things are now, and I can’t image having a family, or taking care of anyone else right now. It’s so important to just focus on how good of a job you’re doing and just keep going 😉 xx

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  7. Mary Ann

    I didn’t know you had a baby! Beautifully written. Yes, you must always make time to do things for yourself too, whether it’s getting away to enjoy a convo with a friend for a couple of hours or shop and wonder through some stores at West Bottoms. Live in the moment and enjoy the things you’re doing. Make life count & take care of you.

    1. Jess Post author

      I appreciate the kind words! I actually didn’t have a baby 🙂 My niece was born last August and I know several others who are expecting and that keeps me plenty busy! Hope you have a great week.

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